Accepting the Imperfect: Addiction and Perfectionism

Since time immemorial, an integral part of the human condition has been the endless pursuit of perfection. We see it everywhere: in the time-tested monoliths erected to honor long-forgotten deities, in the American Dream so readily and willingly accepted by individuals at the earliest of ages, in the revered tomes first introduced in school and forever cherished as guides by which to live one’s life and pursue one’s desires.

Addiction and perfectionism often go hand-in-hand. The problem is that we always see the finished product, always see the perfectly manicured first-edition, but never the pages of failure crumpled and tossed into a wastebasket.

As a culture, we’ve grown obsessed with perfection, and this obsession has both helped and hindered, has allowed for the human condition to simultaneously thrive and find itself unable to cope with the prospect of something less than ideal: our shared less-than-masterpieces.

Addiction and Perfectionism: Adding Fuel to the Fire

The inherent fallacy in expectation is the belief in entitlement, the belief that each of us is deserving of riches, fame, deification, or whatever else may be deemed a measure of success. This belief is damning; it is a gateway to the darker corners of our natures, corners where want and desire turn into bitterness and regret: a transformation that is of the utmost detriment to the addict and the dependent.

Addiction begins as an escape from this transformation, an escape from the foul and contemptuous reality brought on by an inability to cope with the harsher truths of life.

The irony lay in the truth from which we shield ourselves: life is perfect, but it is only perfect inasmuch as its imperfection allows for everything from the wondrous to the banal. An escape into substance abuse is a condemnation of the diverse spectrum that life affords, and an important step in undertaking addiction treatment is the understanding that, as the 12-steps expound upon, there is a greater truth that governs, a greater will than that which each individual possesses, a greater sanity to be attained than the ideal of perfection.

In drug and alcohol addiction treatment, acceptance is the true ideology: acceptance of one’s imperfections, of one’s shortcomings, of one’s sometimes arduous journey through life, and this acceptance is a greater monument to humanity than any brick and mortar structure could ever hope to be.