Coping with a Loved One's Addiction

Substance abuse can affect the whole family, not just the individual who is abusing drugs or alcohol. In fact, these effects can extend beyond the nuclear family, impacting neighbors, friends, and coworkers. Coping with addiction, especially from a loved one, is challenging, and at times can be heart-wrenching and exhausting. Although you may have a limited ability to change the behaviors of your loved one, there are things you can do to cope while your loved one is struggling with an addiction.

Tips for Coping with Someone Else’s Substance Abuse

  1. Take Care of Yourself First. Just like the instructions provided for airplane oxygen masks: Put your mask on first, before helping others with theirs. Use this self-care concept in your own life. Take care of yourself first by getting enough sleep, and doing the things you need to do to maintain good health, that may include seeing a therapist. Sacrificing your own wellbeing will hurt you and it will not help your loved one.
  2. Gather Information. Confusion and misinformation about substance abuse can make it even harder to cope with someone else’s drug or alcohol abuse. Read books and search for authoritative information on the internet from rehab, health, and government websites. Learning more about substance abuse will provide answers, tools, and clear up any confusion about your loved one’s behaviors. Learn more about treatment resources available for your loved one.
  3. Don’t Give Substance Abuse the Center Stage. When substance abuse becomes the main focus in your family’s life, everyone else’s needs will not be met. Looking after your own needs and focusing on your activities, work, and other family members doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your loved one who is struggling. Instead, it means that you don’t condone the behaviors caused by addiction. Offer to help your loved one find treatment options, but don’t allow the addiction to be the primary focus of your life.
  4. Engage in Regular Stress Relief. Take an exercise class, walk with a friend or go on a bike ride. Moving your body increases endorphins, the “feel good” hormones, which can help relieve stress. Learning breathing techniques and practicing meditation can also help.
  5. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them. Work with a counselor or support group to set healthy boundaries. When your loved one is sober, inform him or her of those boundaries and the consequences for crossing them. These boundaries make clear that substance abuse-related behaviors are not okay.

Stand Your Ground and Seek Help

Caving into a loved one’s behaviors or demands may keep the peace momentarily, but it won’t help in the long run. Maintain healthy boundaries, and continue to lean on your support system for guidance and support. Don’t give up on efforts to get your family member or friend to participate in an addiction treatment program. A lack of interest or resistance the first time doesn’t mean you should give up.

You need to be prepared, stable, and healthy to best help a loved one who is struggling with an addiction. Contact an admissions counselor at a drug or alcohol rehab facility, they can answer your questions and offer guidance on how to help your loved one during this difficult time. Talking to an admissions counselor is free and confidential.