Having parents who are abusing drugs is difficult. People dealing with parents who use drugs often wonder if they may have done something to cause their parents to “choose drugs over them.”
The Three “C’s”
This is not the case. Having a parent who is addicted to drugs is never the fault of the child. The best way for a person to understand addiction and to cope with a parent who is using drugs is through “the Three C’s”:
- “You didn’t CAUSE the drug addiction.” Children can sometimes internalize the actions of their parents and believe they are to blame. However, their parents’ addictions have other roots, and “better behavior” in the past would not have changed it.
- “You can’t CONTROL the behavior of your parent.” They must decide to stop using drugs themselves and get help. A parent’s behaviors and actions will often be influenced by their drug use, and it can result in negative consequences.
- “You as their child cannot CURE your parent’s drug addiction.” Addiction treatment programs and alternative treatments can assist a parent or loved one with treatment options to address their addiction. It is not the child’s responsibility to provide treatment, making a full recovery requires the help of addiction professionals.
Drug addiction and alcoholism tends to run in families, and the children of addicted parents can be at a higher risk for addiction than children whose parents are not addicted. The use of substances by parents and adolescent children also tends to be strongly related. In general, if the parents take drugs, their children have a higher likelihood of taking drugs as well.
Knowledge Can Help Your Parent Seek Treatment
By learning all you can about drug addiction, you have a better chance of helping your loved one recover from the disease of addiction. If a child grew up with drug use in the home, it may seem logical for them to use a substance to reduce anxiety, depression, anger or resentment toward an addicted parent, as that’s what their parents did to cope. Do not fall into this trap and use substances to help you cope.
Addiction treatment centers often have programs to help the entire family cope with drug abuse. Studies have shown that children who were able to cope with growing up in a family affected by addiction often did so by receiving the support of a non-addicted family member, teacher, or other key person who supported them through the ordeal.
Getting Guidance to Help A Child Cope
Because of this, children of addicted parents who have received support and guidance from others often demonstrate higher levels of independence and autonomy, better social skills, a more sophisticated ability to cope with difficult emotions, and better day-to-day coping strategies.
Support groups like Ala-Teen, Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), Nar-Anon and Al-Anon can provide the children of addicted parents a safe, open, supportive environment. They can express their feelings, learn from the experiences of others, and receive social support in their emotional recovery.
These groups help individuals feel less isolated and reduce feelings of guilt and shame. They also emphasize the importance and value of having a support system in place to cope with addicted parents.
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